Adjust or Self Destruct
Every day life requires adjustments. Flexibility is the key to happiness and peace.
The definition of the word ‘adjust’ is, ‘to alter or move slightly in order to achieve the desired fit, appearance or result...to adapt or become used to a new situation…’
Or, my personal favorite definition from the 17th century, ‘to harmonize discrepancies.’
Our ability to cope and be successful in relationships, jobs, and the challenges of every day life depends on our ability to adjust. To be able to ‘harmonize the discrepancies.’
The alternative is self destruction. It happens on a private and personal level when we choose binge eating, drinking too much alcohol, or using drugs to dull the need to adjust to a new situation. These choices become habits and lead to destruction over time. We think we can hide these destructive choices, but all is soon revealed leaving a trail of poor health, broken relationships, financial struggle and isolation.
Self destruction becomes public when it becomes extreme.
A recent example of this was displayed on every social media outlet. It was a story of a man who seemed to have everything a man could hope for in life. He was a talented musician. He had a lucrative job, a beautiful wife and two young daughters. He was a worship leader at his church. He had friends and was successful at everything he did.
He is now in prison serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole for shooting his wife in the back of her head while she was sleeping.
All because he refused to adjust. He refused to ‘harmonize the discrepancies.’
He chose self destruction. He was successful at that too.
It is extreme. It is extremely sad. His self destruction destroyed many others as well.
These types of stories are becoming prevalent and have emerged as a form of entertainment. The truth is often stranger than fiction and way more compelling. Even as the stories continue, they, unfortunately, do not become a guideline or an example of what not to do.
Observation doesn’t lead to adjustment and learning from other’s horrific choices.
There are always more stories of self destruction.
You may ask why. Part of the answer lies in the delusion of, “I’m going to be the one person who gets away with it.” And some do. They believe their own lie of contentment and happiness.
They may avoid the public consequences, but self destruction is the ultimate outcome.
It is also important to understand that acceptance is not the same thing as adjusting.
Acceptance is passive. Adjusting is action.
An example of this in my own life is in a goal I had set for myself to be involved in something I believed I was gifted in. I believed I could make a difference, contribute and be a part of a team working toward the same goal. I made the effort to move toward achieving that goal, anticipating the outcome as a good thing for me and for those I could impact. Over the course of several years, it became obvious to me that this was not a worthy pursuit. It was not going to happen. I mourned each block, every disappointing circumstance, and was tempted to accept rejection and isolation.
But God had another plan. Because I put my hope and trust in Him alone, I have learned that through these moments of disappointment, I know that He knows something I don’t know. And just the fact that He knows, I don’t have to know!
1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”
The exalting part of that verse is not about anything I might do here on this earth, but refers to the amazing moment when I will stand before Jesus Christ, and He will claim me as His own!
He cares about what I care about while I am still walking a path on this earth, but the focus is on Him and the future He has for me.
I came to a point of accepting the loss of my goal, but healing did not come until I adjusted to God’s will for my life. It took an action of my mind (physical), heart (emotional), and soul (spiritual).
Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
How to avoid self destruction -
Don’t worry about anything!
Pray and ask God for His leading!
Be grateful!
Ask God for what you need!
Accept His answer of peace!
Accept His answer of protection!
Put your focus on Jesus Christ!
No one plans to self destruct. It’s something we default to as humans when we're confronted with circumstances that we can't control.
Making the adjustments God has for us is not passive resignation.
He leads us into an active, faith based life which leads to perseverance, character, hope and strength.
Psalm 46:1-2 & 10 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear...Be still, and know that I am God...”
Comments